You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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