I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
