he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
