Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
