the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I need water and some morals
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
