hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
