Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Randomize
