I'm jealous of your bromance
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
