Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
