no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
