Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
