I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
