M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
