dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
no you cant smoke seaweed
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
