i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
