my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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