I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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