Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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