I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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