I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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