I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
