And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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