God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
