I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
