So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
