what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This is the high leading the old right now
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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