put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
