I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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