Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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