Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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