There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
