You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
