Porn is love you can see.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
