Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
