i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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