I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
The uberlube is also flammable
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
