Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
