I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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