haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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