in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
