How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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