"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
