Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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