OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
