You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
