SEEEEXXX PLEASE
well you can't waste a boner
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Randomize
