We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize