I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
barbara walters just said penis...
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
