it wasn't lemon gatorade
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
