Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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