How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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