dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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