I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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