Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
