I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize