dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
