Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
We need to rekindle our bromance
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
