i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
