i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
How's work?
Spinning.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize